


said i was your favorite

by scatteredconstellations



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Alex Mercer's Parents Are Homophobic (Julie and The Phantoms), Brief homophobia, Fluff, Introspection, Love Confessions, M/M, gays being gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:34:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29448606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scatteredconstellations/pseuds/scatteredconstellations
Summary: If Alex thinks too much about himself in the 90s compared to himself now he almost can’t wrap his head around it.Or Alex thinking about himself in the 90s vs now and also gays being soft and in love
Relationships: Alex Mercer/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 61





	said i was your favorite

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t know what this is but y’all can have it. I couldn’t find a good way to explain this but like just keep reading...cool 
> 
> Comments and kudos make my day!
> 
> Title from cardigan

If Alex thinks too much about himself in the 90s compared to himself now he almost can’t wrap his head around it. He’s mostly avoided thinking about when he was alive as much as possible. It wasn’t like it was all bad, there were definitely good moments but there were bad ones too. And obviously everyone has bad times but he remembers crying himself to sleep for WEEKS after his parents said he “wasn’t really gay, just confused”. During that time his dad once put a pamphlet for a support group for “teens who strayed from the lord” which he didn’t think was something people did in real life. He’s pretty sure he burned it. 

The alive him was terrified about being gay. He didn’t get a lot of crushes because he didn’t allow himself to. He was hyper aware of his actions and afraid of doing anything to let people in on his secret. That’s why he loved his boys so much. He was happy with them. He could be himself around them. He doesn’t honestly know if they know how much of a breather being around them was at the time but that was truly the only place he could be totally himself. 

The old him could’ve never imagined where he is now. He was 90% sure he was going to be alone forever. Now he’s had a boyfriend for almost a year. He glances at Willie who fell asleep on his shoulder a little while ago. He’s still holding Alex’s hand because he had been holding it before he had dozed off.  
Alex smiles a little because Willie has done so much for him that he almost doesn’t believe it and he acts like it’s no big deal. 

Alex wasn’t really used to love (like at all) at least not romantically. He didn’t think someone would ever get him or accept all his quirks. Then there was his boyfriend who somehow seemed to be able to tell when he was having a bad day before Alex said anything. 

Alex was most confident playing the drums but he didn’t really carry that confidence with him before. Willie definitely brought it out. He’s skateboarded by himself three times (he can’t believe it either, he only fell eight times) and sometimes holds onto willie when he skates down the Hollywood Boulevard faster than anyone’s probably supposed to go. He was out of his comfort zone from the start when he was the one to impulsively kiss Willie first. 

It’s ridiculous but Alex doesn’t think he felt this loved in his entire life. It seems ironic that he only found love in the afterlife. At first he was bad at receiving affection because it wasn’t something he was particularly used to. Willie makes him feel warm inside, and he’s gotten better at relationship stuff although he can’t seem to stop his blushing. 

The ghost next to him stirs and blinks awake, smiling slightly when he sees Alex already looking at him.  
“Hi” he croaks out sleepily  
“Hi” Alex says  
“Whatcha doing?” Willie questions  
“Thinking,” Alex says, shifting from his sitting position until he’s lying next to willie.  
“Like in a good way or..?” Willie questions Alex smiles “yeah in a good way” he says. He shuffles closer to Willie who shuts his eyes settling contentedly back into the pillow.

“Did you know you make me like, really happy?” Alex says softly into the darkness. Willie's eyes snap open and he looks fondly at Alex.  
“Did you know I kinda love you hotdog?” Willie says sleepily and then moves closer to him, kissing him briefly on the cheek before settling into his shoulder. 

Alex feels like his heart is beating out of his chest. He’s 87% sure his face is bright red.  
The thing is, he’s known. He knows in his heart this is love but was too scared to say it out loud. And now somehow, Willie is apparently in love with him. He’s pretty sure Willie is already asleep again but he smiles into the darkness.  
“I love you” he whispers.

**Author's Note:**

> Talk to me on tumblr @mysticsomewhere


End file.
